We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
Randomize
