I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
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