What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
Randomize