I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
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