he was CRYING into my vagina
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
Randomize
