Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
