Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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