I'm so fucking centered right now
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
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