And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
