Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
Church boner. Awkwardddd
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
Randomize
