the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
it wasn't lemon gatorade
I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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