it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
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