return my video game
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
