the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
Randomize
