You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
meet me or not, i'm out of control
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
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