Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
Randomize
