Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
pop tarts are not kleenex
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Randomize
