i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
Well apparently he's into motor boating.
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
