Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Randomize
