Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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