He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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