1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
i may or may not be watching the land before time
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
last night I used snow as a chaser
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