if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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