Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Randomize
