yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Randomize
