i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
Randomize