I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
Randomize
