That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
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