just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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