I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Randomize
