Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
Randomize
