i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
Drake has all the answers
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
Randomize