She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
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