Quick, to the slutcave!
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
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