Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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