i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
i think i scared a bird with my dick
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
