I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
She tied me up with her honor cords...
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
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