Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
Randomize
