How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
