Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Randomize
