Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
I'd cum for enchiladas.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Randomize
