what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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