I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
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