well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
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