hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
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