Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
