It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
i'm signing you up for texting rehab
so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
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