I'll bet she douches with gravy.
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
Randomize
