I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
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