You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
and eventually we just all took our pants off
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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