Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Randomize
