Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
