The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
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