I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
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