The maid of honor just puked.
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
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