I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
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