But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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