totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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