The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
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