And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Randomize
