Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
