Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
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