This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Randomize
