I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
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