Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
