So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
Randomize
