brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Randomize
