High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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